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Don't worry, cheerman. :) [21 Jan 2011|05:14pm]
[ mood | chillin' ]

You're wrong about a lot of things. It will be ok :) You're doing great, I'm doing great. Just let things be.

The end.

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[01 Sep 2010|12:18pm]
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Journal [15 May 2009|01:30pm]
I've been writing a lot less on here ever since I got my new physical journal o.o People should write more, too! But I guess it's a good sign that we all have lives and are doing other stuff.

=) I'm feeling a lot better about myself, generally. I don't know what happened really last night, but I felt so good about myself on many levels. I was enjoying looking at myself in the mirror, thinking about my future, writing out my thoughts.

Not much to update. Today I'm going to Little Tokyo with the Chibi-K interns to start preparing for Chibi-K tomorrow.
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One reason why I don't eat meat. [23 Apr 2009|02:20pm]
[ mood | hahaha ]

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

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hinoai [14 Apr 2009|01:56pm]
Wow. Is everyone's LJ Spotlight the same, or is it based on interests? Because shut mah mouth if this didn't put up on mine:

Jamie is an American living the dream in Japan—she's a manga artist assisting on Shin Prince of Tennis, a columnist for Walking Tokyo, and an actress. She gets to live in Tokyo; you get to live vicariously through her journal.

Liek woah. Check out her journal. Jealousy, anyone?

Makes me wonder if I'm going in the right direction about pursuing my dreams.
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So much to do, so much to reflect on! [20 Feb 2009|12:17pm]
So let's get the party started! But first, this journal is now...

friends only

FRIENDS ONLY!! ;D Comment to be added, loves.

“The universe is designed to give us everything we need and want. It’s really our own fears and our feelings of unworthiness, shame, and doubt that keep us from receiving the incredible abundance and fullness and goodness of life.”
—Shakti Gawain
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::loud whisper:: DON'T TELL DANIEL, HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME [18 Feb 2009|08:54pm]
I can see myself becoming a closet vegetarian.

Well, pescatarian, I ain't gonna give up mah sushi.Collapse )
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wooo Foreign Service!! [13 Feb 2009|01:44pm]
Ahh I love thinking about the future! Ile, with intent of being a Foreign Service Officer with the US Department of State to eventually work in the US Embassy in Japan, was looking up ways she can speed up the process/ get good valuable experience necessary and get on the right track. The State Department website is freakin' awesome. They list out step-by-step how to become a FSO and what careers in that field entail, as well as providing tons of opportunities for us with international aspirations. I've visited their site many times over the past months, and I always learn something new and find different opportunities available that I'd be interested in!

For example, there are many D.C.-based and abroad internships available for students, and I found that I'd prolly like to do this one for the summer:


I can also apply for fellowship awards and also get paid based on my financial status (and we all know I'm dead poor), so that works for me! I fully intend on trying for a summer internship with the Dept of State over in Japan. As they put it:

How far could a student internship at the U.S. Department of State take you? Just for starters, it would give you a greatly coveted inside look into Foreign Service, the positions and the responsibilities that are possible. Think of it as test-driving a career before you decide what you’re going to do with your life. You’ll gain valuable work experience that you’ll be able to apply to virtually every endeavor — whether you work in government or in the private sector. Most of all, you feel good about doing something worthwhile for your nation

I wanna test drive my career!! I'm already going to apply for a different internship, based here in LA (Little Tokyo, wooo!) for this summer, which I'm pretty sure I'm going to get. Next summer, if all goes as planned and I can declare my Global Studies major, I'll either be studying abroad in China, France, Mexico, or New York City (depending on the availability of the program), so my next two summers are already filled up, if all goes well. I know I'm thinking waaay ahead, things may not go as planned, but I'm really excited about all this. Anything I do can be added to my resume for applying for...anything else! Such as that spiffy Foreign Service job I wanna get in the future. I hope get to that after I do the JET program (or a similar program?) for International Relations, another resume-filler.

This pretty much stems from that presentation by our Diplomat in Residence a couple months back, and now, next week there will be another presentation by another diplomat guy specifically for careers in Asia for the US Dept of State =D This is all very inspiring, and I must leech out of it as much knowledge as I can.
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Important stuff [12 Feb 2009|12:36pm]
I just got my first credit card as part of this special offer from my bank specifically for college students to help them start building good credit and setting a good financial foundation for the future. It came with this neat, informational packet, and had great tips and additional sources for information. One site it highly recommended for young adults is Hands on Banking:


I haven't really tried it yet, but it looks cool and it makes me excited for having a good financial future. I'm excited, I have my own checking account (had three debit cards, but closed the accounts on two of them, so now I just use one ^^), my own savings account, and now my own credit card! All on my own =D Though my very first debit card and account, my mom helped me get when I was 16 ><;; I feel all responsible and stuff. I'm going to educate myself as best I can regarding money matters, and I want to save as much money as possible.
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Just FYI [11 Feb 2009|11:57pm]
Man, I was *so* close to running six miles today on the treadmill... then sudden sharp pains in the chest, left shoulder, and left obliques said I probably should have not pushed myself so much. Well. Hmph. It was like 50 minutes in, I was almost done... But I'm alive and well now, thanks.

It really feels good to workout, I wanna get on the ball again.
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Barack and a Hard Place [11 Feb 2009|01:09pm]
Something I had to listen to for Sociology class, and I think a lot of people can benefit from listening to this, too. Here are my notes on it, just for my own personal use.

Barack and a Hard Place


My own notes on thisCollapse )
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Killing us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women [10 Feb 2009|09:17pm]
Killing us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women

A short, 6-minute section of the Killing Us Softly 3 video.

And a one-minute commercial by Dove.

"No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted."
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Put on ANTM in front of me, and I can be on the ellipticals for hours... [10 Feb 2009|12:45am]
Feb 8, 2009 cont'd

Today, I went to the LA Country Museum of Art (LACMA) for the second time ever. It's such a wondrous place, always different, life-enrichening exhibits going on. Anyone who visits LA should definitely head over to LACMA to get a taste of the world in one location.

I went there to one of its theaters to see a screening of the 2006 documentary "Thin" for extra credit for sociology class. I definitely need to do this extra credit because I have a few assignments missing, and the EC would almost completely make up for it. I just have to write about it, being as in depth as possible, and hopefully expand on it.

It was, indeed, the powerful documentary it promised to be. I'd heard of this documentary before, and have been meaning to watch it for a long time now. It's a documentary that follows four young women battling with their eating disorders at Renfrew Rehab Center in Florida. It is very emotional, shocking, and at times disgusting, but very educational. I can definitely see how people can get touched and personally changed by this movie.

However, it didn't hit me in the way I thought it would. It focused on women who were undergoing the most extreme cases of anorexia and bulimia. They had already undergone numerous hospitalizations before being admitted to the rehab center, and this movie documents the ups, downs, and drama of all those girls in that place. Sure, it shows us the extremes that women want to avoid in their endeavors to be "thin" and be beautiful to their own (society's?) standards. But... what if they're not to such an extreme yet? What about all the insecurity that leads up to that? The background stories as to why they might even begin unhealthfully trying to lose weight? I was hoping in a way this this could be more of a preventative, inspirational documentary somehow, that by showing statistics or exploring into the psychology of the pressures of media (etc), it could in the end show that the superficiality isn't worth the suffering. I wanted this movie to aim at the hearts of those every day girls struggling with their body image and somehow prove to them that we don't have to idealize those people on the magazine covers or walking down runways. There's a surprising number of people dealing with their own varying levels of eating disorder/ body image/ depression on the matter, even if it might not be diagnosed as such. It's easy to separate ourselves from those women in Thin and say, "Well, I'm not that bad off, this doesn't apply to me" and continue harming their lives. There are degrees of sickness, degrees of pressure, degrees of insecurity and bad feelings. So much so that most people go along without anyone noticing it in them. And I believe this applies to most people, whether you want to admit that about yourself or not. All these varying degrees in people are so easy to hide. Most of your friends, probably even your family, don't know about your self-image, do they? Isn't it easy to put that mask on? At least some of use are willing to admit to that mask and are working on it. I think that also applies to a lot of people. They're dealing with it (or suffering with it) in their own way.

This brings me to an interesting experiment assigned to us by our sociology teacher, that I will conduct tomorrow and write a 3 to 4 page paper on. It's a 3-parter, all to be conducted in absolute privacy:

Part 1: Look at yourself in the mirror for 20 minutes. What do you normally do when looking at yourself in the mirror? Judge your looks? Criticize? Don't do that in these 20 minutes. Only look at yourself, with Beginner's Mind. Beginner's Mind has no idea what it is about to see. It has no expectations, nor preconceived notions. It just sees what it sees.

Part 2a: Remove all your clothes. Look at yourselve in the mirror for ten minutes, in the mentality that you are Naked. Being Naked is just like when you go shower. There is no judgment, no awareness or sensitivity to your nakedness. You just have no clothes on.

Part 2b: Now look at yourself in the mirror for ten minutes in the mentality that you are Nude. You have no clothes on, and you are aware of every judgement that could come your way. If all of society was looking at your naked body, this is what you are feeling. All your friends, classmates, strangers, acquaintances, professionals, "beautiful" people in the world all have their eyes on you and are judging. How are you feeling? Look at yourself in the Nude for ten minutes.

Part 3: Go the next 24 hours without looking at a mirror or any reflective surface at all. Go about your normal day, just don't look at any mirrors.

Reflect on this experiment you have done. It may be helpful to write about it. What were your thoughts and feelings? Did you learn anything about yourself? I've yet to conduct this experiment, so I hope I get something out of it. I wonder how it will make me feel, or what I discover, if anything. I'm glad sociology class opens up perspectives for us, challenging our status quo and have us try new things. I think personally, I really need an experiment like this, like I think it was good for me to see that movie.
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Best paint my nails now so they can be grown later! [10 Feb 2009|12:39am]
Backtracking again, because I still don't have a working computer.

Feb 8, 2009
Valentine's Day is a-comin', and I can't stop thinking about my baby. He is goingt o be coming here on March 20th, I almost can't believe it. We were expecting not to be able to see each other until summertime, and now he'll be able to spend Spring Break with me! I love him so much, I can't wait, I think that I might explode with anticipation.

I just resized the promise ring he gave me, so now I don't have to wear another ring in front of it to hold it on! And the place polished it all shiney and new, so it looks AMAZING! I can't look into to too long for fear of going blind XD And it's so exciting to get it all redone, because now I feel like I just got engaged (again! because I felt that way the first time he gave it to me :D) I had to show someone immediately after I got it back from the jewelry place, so I showed my coworker James right when I got into work. ^^ Ifeel like showing it to everyone! But everyone already knows I have it, so it'd just be weird.

My goodness, it's so breathtakingly sparkly... even the gold back glimmers in a way I've never seen before.

I love you, Daniel. Thank you for this beautiful ring! One day, I shall mark my territory as well ;D
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What Ile is thinking. [03 Feb 2009|12:31am]
What am I really thinking? I think people should stop staying so aggravated and mad over little things/ things that are old and already apologized for. No use keeping up the anger, ok? Where is the love?
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[02 Feb 2009|11:51pm]
I feel like whatever I eat cancels out whatever exercise I do. I tried to eat "clean" today-- though I slept in for breakfast, lunch was a small bowl of cereal (half Special K and half Raisin Bran) and a big salad, and an apple. Good, right? Well, now it's after work and Momo-chan and I just went to YogurtLand and ate a ton of frozen yogurt D: I'm a bit undecided about that place, because the frozen yogurt in there is NonFat. But the toppings... sooo many toppings. And I definitely had chocolate chips, Butterfingers pieces, and mochi in there. In addition to the fruits I put in to trick myself into thinking it's healthy. NonFat doesn't necessarily mean NonCalorie, or NonSugar. Myar... It's hard to resist temptation. I'm trying to do something good for myself, and end up making excuses. I need a total outlook 180.

I'm tired. I don't wanna do anything. I should work out early in the morning, though, so I can do classes and whatnot, though the strong temptation in those classes is to skip out. I really, really don't like my Data Analysis or History 2B classes. They genuinely suck and don't make it feel like it's worth going to class at all.

Mmmrm... it's really hard to lose weight. To lose a single pound a week, that would be eliminating 3,500 calories. Which, over a week, means keeping a deficit of 500 calories a day, to burn away forever and not eat back, every day. Sure, I burned over 500 calories today in the gym, but I also ate. And you can't just go in starvation mode because your body will think you're trying to fast and will hold on to as much energizing fat as possible. I guess I should at least keep doing what I'm doing, but really try to come up with what my best strategy should be. zzz...
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[02 Feb 2009|03:07pm]

Ok, so WOOOO Daniel's coming to LA for Spring Break!! Yeah!!

Oh, and update for past two days: free weights are pretty awesome and I think I'll be doing those more for arms, rather than machines. Ok!
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All the catching up I have to do. [02 Feb 2009|02:50pm]
1/31/09, later

I write a lot here, don't I? You won't know until I find a computer to type up my journal entries. Even though I'm writing this in a notebook, I'm writing it to be posted on LiveJournal. I don't write super-private things, even in my own notebook. I guess maybe because anything that would fall into that category is already shared in person with a confidante, like Daniel. Wow, I'm such a blogger, and not even a very interesting one :(. Whatever happened to my Japanese blog idea? Ile stopped studying, is what, because she got discouraged by the JLPT and has little interest in her Advanced Readings in Modern Japanese because the rest of my classes are killing me enough as it is. Someday, I'll have a Japanese blog.

Anyways, I'm trying to get my meal plan reinstated, though I've been doing just fine without it. Daniel reminds me that man must not live on PB&J sandwiches and Cocoa Puffs alone ::munches on cocoa puffs::. Even though most of the on-campus restaurant/dining hall stuff is so unhealthy (which is why I lost interest in eating campus food), the dining halls still have healthy options like their salad bars and stuff, so I should get my meal plan back instead of just eating this stuff. But my Cocoa Puffs are vitamin and calcium fortified! Anyways, once I get my meal plan reinstated, I'm already planning out what I'm eating and when. I heard that once you have an idea of what you're going to get (or promise yourself what NOT to get) it's easier to stick to your eating choices and goals. I really like getting Total from BruCaf for breakfast, and the nutrition facts show how awesome it is for you <3

Ile has to be strong. I am, sometimes, like today I stopped myself from getting an unhealthy snack at the vending machine. I also stopped myself from getting nachos unnecessarily last night. Yay! And the temptation was great. But, other times I fall short. Today before work I had a BLT (w/o the T), and they put a lot of mayonnaise on it... and I forgot that bacon is, well, bacon. Should've just gotten a ham sandwich. That's what I got once from Subway, $5 ham footlong-- plainest thing you ever did see. Ham, provolone, lettuce, black olives. No condiments or anything. But I like it, it feels light and somewhat healthier than other fast food options. Healthy sandwich!

So tomorrow I'm going to try the elliptical machine instead of the treadmill, because I've forgotten what it feels like and maybe it's worth a slightly different workout. However, I'm worried that after my cardio is done, I'll head to the weight room and feel weird again. Maybe I should go to the weight room first, before anyone shows up and takes my light weights? But then what if I get too tired from weight room to do any decent cardio, like when I could only run for 15 mins on that treadmill a couple days ago? Oh well, only time will tell. I'll figure this out tomorrow. I really want to find something that will work for me, to help me change myself for the better. I wonder if all this seems like obsessive, whiney vanity and that I should just stop being unrealistic and superficial. Hmm... I really have the best intentions!!

So I was asked to show up to work 2 hours early tomorrow because it's Super Bowl Sunday and we might get a lot of people ordering takeout. Which reminds me, in addition to all the awesome Christmas and New Years parties I imagine Daniel and I throwing when we are married, I want us to have Super Bowl parties, too! Maybe we can have barbecues! We'll put up a big hi-def TV and invite all our buddies for fun, food, and drink (what?sportsbetting?what?). And it'll become a fun tradition even when we all have kids and our friends will bring their kids and they'll all play video games and learn about football and eat chips. I can imagine them growing up into punk teens trying to sneak beers... Oh man, it'd be awesome if we had a pool! But maybe not for Super Bowl parties, too cold? Other parties, then.

Another thing we'd like to do as a couple is go camping! That can be done at any point, we just have to plan for it. It can be romantic! Just us two and nature, going exploring, fishing, making s'mores and cooking hotdogs over a fire... Eat junk food without attracting bears... We'll have to look up other camping activities, too, but as long as we're together, we'll have tons of fun no matter what!
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[02 Feb 2009|02:38pm]

Happy last day of the month! Two weeks until Valentine's Day!

So I just came back from the gym, and I think I'm getting back on track. I ran on the treadmill like usual and headed for the weight room. But sometimes I wonder, once I'm all rested or my heart rate goes down when I'm stretching, does all I do really make a difference? Like, I know I did a lot per machine and really pushed myself and felt the burn, etc-- but now I'm lying in bed and don't feel anything anymore. Did I really do anything? I feel like I should constantly be sore if I'm doing it right. But at least that's true for when you're just starting out. I just want to feel like my body is constantly improving rather than just when I'm doing the exercises.

I saw Momo-chan's roommate Peter at the gym again today-- he seems to look better and better every time I see him. It, in a way, makes me a bit jealous, but he's going at it a little... obsessively? And momo-chan said he barely eats. But how can a guy get that muscle-y without eating? I did notice the initial weight loss earlier before he started buffing up. All that I've got to go by is hearsay and my own tainted observations. He may be going about it a perfectly healthy way. He's a friend of mine that also likes J-Rock, and he said I should totally hit him up if I wanted him to show me any gym shizznits. I told him about my wanting to get rid of my tricep jigglies and tone that up, and he suggested some exercises with free-weights. They probably are more effective that machines, because as Daniel tells me, the machine does everything for you and you lose the aspect of total control over the weight in the exercise. The thing is, the free weights section is always the most populated of the weight room, and it gets a little intimidating. Especially since I haven't located where the lighter weights are yet... Maybe they're already taken every time? But everyone seems to know what they're doing and they're with their buddies, being spotted. It makes me feel a little out of place by myself, if I don't go in there with a game plan. I should be more self-confident, I know plenty of free-weight exercises I can do. One of them, I wanted to try out in front of a mirror, but realized that for that particular exercise, 15 lbs per hand was too much and I couldn't find any lighter ones, and didn't wanna wander about looking for them, so I gave up. Also, Ile is really weak. Come on, bicep curling 15 lbs a hand is too much for just a few reps? I also tried to press those above my head while standing to work my shoulders, and that didn't last very long. I suck. I see other girls, obviously more experienced and toned, but so much thinner than me doing heavier weights. I have to strengthen these muscles somehow, and at least I'm trying.

I should also try to get more flexible. I think this week, my working out has been a little less consistent, so I'm not stretching as much. Butterfly stretch nearly killed me today. I also think I overdid it a little on the leg extensions, because my knees started getting a little sore. I found someone else who wants to take pilates, too, so maybe I can go with her! I have no idea if it has anything to do with flexibility, but toning yay!

I woke up this morning and could not get the image of Victoria Beckham out of my head. She looks so beautiful, I want a sexy body like that. My legs don't look anywhere near as nice-- how does one develop sexy legs? Maybe I should take a cardio class.
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In the computer lab. [02 Feb 2009|02:37pm]
Hey guys, I'm on a computer now. I've been writing down more entries in my physical notebook to add here while I'm computerless, so you will be seeing those soon. I also added to my last entry, because I couldn't finish it at the time. Enjoy!
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